the bible tells us a bajillion times that we're supposed to remember. remember that God loves us, remember that he will fulfill all the promises he has made to us, and most often, remember that once we were slaves and now we are free.
God wants us to remember where we came from! i don't know about you, but it's difficult for me personally to identify with the slavery our ancestors once faced in egypt, or being an israelite who has turned from God to follow idols. i have a hard time "remembering" that i was in that situation. slightly more applicable though, i do remember when i didn't understand the concept of leaning on Christ and how much more difficult life was when i didn't yet know that it was okay for things not to be perfect, that God's gonna take care of them for me.
the most vivid memories for me, in my life's transition from before i knew Christ to the God i lead now, all take place in the hospital in Madison. that was where i was made completely vulnerable for the first time and really gave my heart and life to God, free and clear. so every year when i go back to see my doctor, the memories of what it was like to basically live in the hospital, live in fear, and go through such a trying experience come flooding back.
this year was no different, except God gave me a more physical reminder (a nudge, if you will...). i went to see my hepatologist on wednesday, got there early for the usual blood draw and taking of all possible bodily fluids, got checked in and told the nurse i felt like i was getting sick. i was SO right. my bloodwork showed a high white blood cell count (i was fighting off some viral infection- sinus or severe cold as i now know) and a high bilirubin (that one was unusual, for the whole liver panel tests, only one to be off? strange.). another young female transplant patient had come in earlier in the week with the exact same symptoms, which reassured me that it was probably something going around that us immunosuppressed folk are more susceptible to getting. so the nurse swabbed my throat for strep (not so bad), swabbed the back of my nose to test for flu (THAT was bad. ugh! like drowning in stinging pool water), and i went back to the lab for more poking and prodding so they could make sure i didn't have swine flu or something crazy.
after the madison visit i headed to the dermatologist to find out that these little white bumps i have all over my left leg are also from being immunosuppressed. some virus or fungus or something that my body doesn't recognize as foreign has decided to reside on my skin. so, for the next 4 months, i get to go in and have injections put into my leg, kind of like a vaccine, so my body realizes that something is wrong and fights the little buggers off.
in the days that followed, aka: thursday through sunday, i proceeded to get sicker and feel ickier. i had fevers on and off for four days, night sweats, a consistent headache for 5 days, aching joints, sinus pressure, congestion and a sore throat. i popped tylenol like it was candy (since that's pretty much all i can take for it with the other meds i'm on) and took vitamins like it was my job.
on thursday, to put some icing on the cake, my left eye turned bright red and started tearing. over the weekend, the redness subsided, but the tearing increased and it puffed up so that it doesn't open all the way. (can i express to you how awesome all of this looks combined? haha, i can do nothing but laugh at my health right now. i feel for whoever sits next to me on the plane.) so i went to the eye doctor this morning and i do have an eye infection, part viral, part bacterial. i got some antibiotics so it should be looking better in 24 to 48 hours- hallelujah.
all of this is to say: God, i remember where i came from! i know that my health this week was nothing in comparison to what i went through with the liver transplant, but more importantly, i know that i only have my health because of You. there is no other way that i would be here today.
every time i get sick, i realize how much i have to be thankful for. i can't even tell you how many days there are that i forget to tell God how glad i am that i have a healthy liver, how thankful i am that i can see clearly, breathe without effort, swallow without pain, sleep through the night. how does the saying go? you never know how high you are until you fall? i'm glad i fell, and i'm so thankful he caught me.
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