fall retreat

ast weekend, i was privileged enough to get to take two days off from studying and travel to goshen, va for frontline's fall retreat (the young adult ministry at mclean bible church)!!! i said i would update on how it was, so here i am, updating.

overall, i had a really good time. the retreat met my expectations for sure. there were 500 young adults that attended and i knew about 3 of them when i got there. now i know so many i can't remember all their names, and i'm not actually sure that i've met all my new facebook friends. the retreat was held at a YoungLife camp, which was right next to the blue ridge mountains. the view was spectacular, the camp was pristine and it was so nice to not have cell service for a whole 3 days. a welcomed break! it was, however, very different from my past experiences with retreats:

1. i didn't have any close friends going with me. i'm used to being in fellowship the whole time (aka: i usually have one or more of my best friends/my entire bible study going together), so i found myself talking to strangers a lot, which is neither good nor bad, just different. i suppose it was good, because i clearly need fellowship!

2. there were 4 large group meetings over the weekend with incredible worship and challenging sermons (one friday night, saturday morning, saturday night and sunday morning). i really liked the sermons and i think the pastor did a great job, but interestingly enough, they weren't actually what God spoke to me about while i was there...which is unusual.

3. i really missed the in-depth small groups that the large groups usually break up into on retreats. with so many people i can see that it would be difficult to organize and to find leaders for 50 small groups, but i love getting to know people better in that type of situation- where we're all willing to be more vulnerable and can pray for each other, etc.

my intentions upon going to the retreat were really just to meet more friends in the area and to get to know people, so that probably makes it sound like my motives for going were wrong (in not going intentionally to connect with God.) so, i want to clarify that over the past year i've realized that fellowship is the void in my life that i need to let God fill. plus, i feel like with church, frontline and small group, plus the podcasts i listen to and individual study time/prayer, God is telling me WAY more things than i have time and ability/patience) to listen to and absorb.

what i do feel like God has been speaking to me about lately (and on the retreat, interestingly enough) is becoming a woman of God. i don't have any idea how this topic became pressing to me or why God placed it on my heart just now, but over the last 3 or 4 weeks it has been at the forefront of my thoughts. at the retreat i had this out-of-nowhere revelation that being a woman of God is so much more than what i think of on a daily basis, or how i "measure" myself in my own spiritual progress. it's more than just following the rules- more than attending church on sundays, reading my bible and praying when i'm supposed to. it's so much more than the things i do. i could DO as many things as humanly possible to be Christ-like and still not be a woman of God. i could serve at the homeless shelter, change my vocation, be active 24/7 in churchly/"godly" things, fulfill all the things my church would recommend in helping me further my walk with God and still not develop in faith at all (never aquire any Christ-like attitudes or attributes). i could do all those things and even though i had the best of intentions, i could be letting myself slide; just going through the motions. so now that i'm thinking and praying about it, i'm trying to figure out exactly what God wants me work on first, and what on earth does it really mean to be a woman of God?


"but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. against such things there is no law. those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
Galations 5:22-23

this verse was the first that came to mind when these thoughts came into my head at the retreat, so i suppose there's something to be said for that! if being a woman of God meant developing in all of those attributes (kindness, faithfulness, goodness, joy, patience, etc.) i have such a long way to go.

this week's sermon at church was particularly relevant in teaching me on this topic- Pastor Philips talked about accountability, and having Christian leadership/mentorship in our lives and the importance of allowing other Christians to speak into our lives in the small and large decisions (and MORE importantly, us listening to them and taking their wise council), to help us make the right choices and progress rather than regress in our relationships with Christ. so since my life has been devoid of Christian mentorship/discipleship since college, i'm also going to be praying for doors to open to find someone who can help me live my life the way God intended.

here are a few pics of the retreat- also on facebook. enjoy!