vrwwwwwwwwww...(remember how we used to have to rewind tapes? that's the sound i'm making.) rewind 1 week!
last week Sunday, i tried to make plans to go to the pumpkin patch, Cox Farms, before church. i emailed a bunch of people a week beforehand and got "yes" replies from about half of them. i was REALLY excited and looking forward to it! i heard about this place the first year i was in DC but for some unknown reason the plans to go just never work out! well, the tradition continued this year as my "yes's" started dropping like flies through the end of the week. by sunday morning i still had a group of 4 girls that were going to go, but then my two roommates dropped out, and there was miscommunication with the 3rd! yikes.
things to know about me: i'm a planner. i like to plan ahead so i can look forward to things and get excited about them. this becomes a problem only if said plans don't work out, because then i end up disappointed. all this is to say that i had some free time last sunday and was in a terrible mood! thankfully, God urged me to take my extra time to spend with Him! i went to the park by my old apartment, sat in the sun, talked with God and had some much needed time to reflect. i thought a lot about how different my friendships are on the east coast than they are in the midwest. at home, my friendships with people seem so much easier! i think this is in great part because my church here is sooo much bigger (only like 100x. it's cool.) if you want your friendships to be tight and mean something they HAVE to be intentional when you're part of such a large community. if you don't consciously make an effort to spend time with the same people, you will bounce around in a group of 100 friends and get to know them all only on a surface level, because there just isn't enough time to know them all really well.
this is how God spoke to me about my thoughts.
"i am still confident of this: i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." ~psalm 27:13
"commit your way to the Lord: trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." ~psalm 37:34
"wait for the Lord and keep His way. He will exalt you to inherit the land." ~psalm 37:34
even though i'm taking these verses slightly out of context, i think God's answer to me was clear: patience. focus on God as #1 and put my trust in Him. He provides my fulfillment and happiness, not external things! these relationships take time to blossom and grow, especially when i have such limited time to put into them. i've really only been pursuing community in the church for a year now, so all things considered, i think i've come quite far!
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